Ageing can come with it’s fair share of ups and downs. It’s always good to have family and friends around to assist you with thinking things through or helping to make important decisions – whether it’s where to live, financial or legal matters, or a choice about your health or wellbeing.
But what happens if you don’t see eye to eye? Here are some strategies to help you keep your cool during these tricky discussions – and help to get your perspective heard.
Be respectful: When it comes to having difficult conversations, many of us will go in with the mentality of ‘winning at all costs.’ This approach will never convince anyone to change their thinking. Instead of being confrontational, listen. Try to understand their point of view. Be respectful. This will help you understand why they hold the views they do. Put yourselves in their shoes and be empathetic to their beliefs. Remember: they likely think that your perspective on the issue is wrong too so tread carefully.
Find common ground: Even with the most divisive of topics, it’s likely that you will share at least some common ground with the person. When it comes to the vaccine debate, for example, people’s decisions (regardless of what side of the fence they are on) are generally about keeping their loved ones safe and healthy. That’s something we can all appreciate so offer narratives that fit with this understanding.
Don’t attack each other’s beliefs
Beliefs are intrinsically tied to people’s values and identity. Attacking someone’s belief, for example, is – as far as your brain is concerned – akin to the threat of a physical attack. Saying things like “that is stupid” or “that’s ridiculous” is really unhelpful. Try and keep to the facts and be open to what each other is saying.
Remember, your family and friends normally have your best interest at heart – even if it might not seem like it at the time. Be respectful and patient with each other.
Updated: 12 May 2023